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Letters From A Nut: Metro Annoyances

Being long winded when it comes to all forms of writing, I also have a strange habit of actually writing letters.  I'm not talking about e-mail letters.  I'm talking about old fashioned "typed" letters on paper, mailed with a fricking stamp.  Ok, I don't use a typewriter and I do send e-mail too, but when I want to be really annoying, I print them, stuff them in an envelop, and hope at least one eyebrow will raise from my antics.

When I write them for mailing, I try to stick to some semblance of the formal rules of letter writing if I can.  I tend to just use Einstein's format for FDR (see below).

Here is a letter I wrote (albeit slightly edited and reformatted for the internets) originally addressed to the Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority (a.k.a. "Metro," formerly RTD, formerly MTA, etc.).  The letter was written and sent in June of 2008:

Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority
One Gateway Plaza
Los Angeles, CA 90012-2952

Sir or Madam:

    My daily round-trip cost is $2.45 in total.  I commute four days out of the week and spend the fifth day working from home.  As you can see, I have no need for a $5 daily pass, nor $62 a monthly pass, since I only spend about $42 each month.

    Needless to say, I have nothing to complain about with regard to bus fare.  My commute seems longer than it was when I drove the seven miles over a year ago, but the price is much easier to deal with.

    I notice that many of the Metro buses have been outfitted with flat panel displays called "Transit TV" which inform and attempt to entertain riders en-route.  One of the features I have noticed of this system is that as the bus driver presses down on the bus accelerator, the audio from Transit TV system intentionally gets louder to compensate for the extra noise from the bus engine.

    I find it odd that radios are prohibited by law (California Penal Code § 640.3 "Playing sound equipment on or in a system facility or vehicle.") yet sound equipment from the Transit TV systems are lawful.  In fact, I find Transit TV downright obnoxious.  Why should I be jarred away from my book to hear commercials for people with bad credit?  On the Torrance Transit line, if some-one's earphones are too loud, the bus driver asks them to turn them down.  I am seriously considering what it would take to remove Metro from my daily commute.  In all likelihood, the only thing I need to do is purchase a bicycle.

    I would like to know if Transit TV has been granted an exception from the law, and if so, I require to know where this exception is documented so that I may start a petition to remove the exception, if I find any such interest from other riders to do so.

   No doubt, Metro receives revenue from Transit TV for playing those obnoxious commercials.  It would be one thing if the monitors merely displayed messages in silence.  No doubt revenue could still be gathered by silent ads.  I can only guess this is all in an effort to avoid raising the bus fare.

    As it is, the bus fare really doesn't bother me, but I pay $1.55 to get to work and $0.90 to get home four days a week because I incorporate Torrance Transit into my route.  It might make more sense to just remove Metro from the equation and pay only $0.50 each direction.

     When I come home, I get a transfer from Torrance Transit.  When I transfer to Metro, many times the Metro driver won't take my transfer, but let me on anyway.  Occasionally, Metro drivers offer resistance for even showing them the transfer.  It's like they think they are day passes, they don't recognize them anymore, or they think I'm trying to pull a fast one.  I'm not sure why the driver wouldn't want to take my transfer.

     I know the code requirement for fare disputes is to pay the fare (§640.B), but I have been polite with the drivers and thus far this has not been necessary.

     All this to say, I am not that impressed with your bus line and I have a sneaking suspicion you are getting rid of inter-agency transfers and force me to buy a day pass that the Torrance Transit line doesn't plan on accepting.  Is this true?  If so, all this will serve to do is confirm my desire to remove Metro from my daily commute.

Sincerely,
Anthony Martin


I do not write my letters really expecting any change or even a response.  Only about half of the letters like this ever get a reply.  And about half of those replies do not seem to pertain at all to what I originally wrote about.  This does not come as a surprise to me.  But years ago, I would get coupons and other perks for writing nutty letters to corporations.  Lately, nothing.  And I certainly didn't expect anything from monopolistic-pseudo-corporations like these guys.

And I was right.  There was no reply.  My address was part of the letter I sent (which was redacted here for posting online), so there's no reason they couldn't reply.  But because I brought up legal terminology, my letter was probably shredded ASAP.

But an interesting thing has happened since that time.  My primary complaint about the noise level generated by "Transit TV" seems to have been addressed.  I'm not sure if it's because of my letter or something unrelated like the fact that maintenance has gone completely out the window (maybe it's a combination thereof).

And my secondary complaint about the odd treatment of transfers has also been addressed.  I have gotten zero resistance to my transfers for a long time.  There have been many new operators since that time too, so it's not because they got used to me.

So I can't say letter writing was effective here since I have no direct evidence to support it.  But I do enjoy it nonetheless.  And on occasion, it might even help.  Who knows?

   
Click here to download:
Letters_From_A_Nut_Metro_Annoy.zip (31 KB)

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Filed under  //   Local   Los Angeles   Rant   Rule of Law   Writing  

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Question Digested

Question Digested: 1451

Here's another question I asked with a very long answer in reply.  My question is just a pun.  I switch "Oracle" with "Ocular."  Comedy ensues.

The answer is a clever and detailed parody of a digest for The Internet Oracle.  So basically, it's an in-joke for people who get into this deeper than the average "question-asker."  Don't feel bad if you don't get it.


The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.  Your question was:

Oh great and powerful Oracle...

Hi, I'm The Internet Ocular.  I keep getting e-mails intended for you.  It doesn't happen too often, so it's not a bother.  How do you want to go about dealing with this?  I could just forward them to you when I get them or would you like me to just collect them together into a digest?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:54 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-01

Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> The other day I saw a pirate dog, you know with a patch
> and a wooden leg. My sister said, "Look at that dog with
> one eye!" So I covered one eye and looked at it, but it
> didn't really look all that different than when I viewed
> it with one eye. What gives?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} I see. Next time swagger up to the dog and say in your
} best John Wayne voice, "Pilgrim, I know who done shot yer
} Pa."
}
} You must see about giving The Ocular a salty dog, hold the
} the scurvy.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:55 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-02

Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> How does one get black eyed, peas?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Usually by fighting over chick peas.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:56 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-03

Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> How can I catch the eye of that cute guy in Math class?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Practice your fly fishing and hook him in one of his big
} blue peepers.
}
} You must see your way to giving the Ocular a nightcrawler.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:58 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-04

Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Deer InteRNUT Ocular,
>
> What doo you say to A man with A glass EYe named JOberinski?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Ask him what his other eye is called.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:59 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-05

Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> I tried getting my husband some glasses, but he's still
> not seeing things my way. What can I do?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Get an Eye-vorce.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:100 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-07

Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> The sun! It's blinding me! I've been
> decapitated and I'm face up in a wicker bucket!
> What can I do?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Squint, while you're a head.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:101 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-08

Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> What did the law pupil say to the judge?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Iris my case.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:102 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-09

Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> I C U!

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Me too.
}
} You must see your way to giving the Ocular a AOL CD.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:103 -0500
From: Internet Ocular
Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-10

Selected-By: EYE N. Davis (aka end) <end@it.now>

The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Can I wear glasses when I play contact sports?

And in response, thus spied the Ocular:

} Why not? People with only one bottom play tennis.
}
} Wait, that. Hmm. Sorry, I just got back from NYC.
} I flew in on the Red Eye and boy are my arms covered
} with vitreous fluid. Thank you! Thank you! I'll be
} here all week! Be sure and tip the waitresses!

===================================================
end

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H.A.T.T.

Synopsis: Writing exercise about a futuristic technological achievement.
Setting: Federation Starfleet Command, Circa 24th Century
Writing Topic: New Transporter Technologies
Executive Summary: Think of the H.A.T.T. system as a virtual worm-hole or a worm-hole simulator.  But instead of using a singularity or space folding technology, the worm-hole is simulated by a holographic system and an otherwise normal mater/energy transporter.

H.A.T.T. stands for Holographic Assist Tactical Transporter, which is a particular transport rig and holographic array combination that uses a specialized matter transport scheme to create an illusion that allows subjects to perceive they are merely walking down a hall during the transport process.

The illusion is supported by a simultaneous transport using traditional technologies, overlaid with "holographic masking."  The masking is achieved on a grid configured in such a way that the transporter buffer is able to maintain visual simulation during the entire transport process.  The main effect being sought is the total absence of a "light show" during transport.  All visual artifacts normally perceived during transport are replaced with a normal looking environment for both observers and subjects.

On one side of the transport cycle, the entrance to a real hallway exists or a holographic hallway is projected.  The other half of the hallway is an exit on the other location.  The subject merely walks through the hallway to the other side with no other obvious effects except that the other side of the hallway is in a vastly remote location.

Both or neither sides of the hallway need be holographic, yet the usual buffer cycle is "hidden" during transport by holographic means.  For example, if both sides of the hallway are real physical hallways, a one-way holographic block (or plug) is formed on both ends and a holographic "morph" transition is generated in the middle.

From the standpoint of technology, a standard transport buffer is being utilized.  The length of the holographic hallway will roughly dictate the buffer delay requirements.  Longer buffers require longer hallway simulations.

For site-to-site transport, a non-holographic hallway that has a "dead-end" on one side can serve as one half of the transport to avoid the need for a holographic block (or plug).  The other side of the transport can also be a similar non-holographic hallway, if one is available.  The middle of the hallway will be morphed or blended holographically to create a seamless transition to the subject.  The transition can be created automatically or crafted by a Starfleet Certified Holographic Developer (the HDK is available on the Starfleet central database, keyword: GOHATT).

Depending on the situation, personnel can configure H.A.T.T. to allow bi-directional or uni-directional movement through the hallway.

Bi-directional movement means subjects can walk in either direction through the hallway.  With this configuration, ongoing emergency transports can be established to move specialists and equipment where needed.  For example, in the case of a natural disaster where there may be multiple triage points, medical personnel and doctors would be able to use H.A.T.T. to move quickly and freely from one location to the other without needing to coordinate with traditional transporter crew.

Uni-directional movement means subjects can only walk in one direction through the hallway.  This configuration lends itself to military and security situations where personnel are needed, but security is heightened.

There is also a blend of bi-directional/uni-directional movement.  The blended movement can be predicated on the density of the subject or other types of discrimination.  This would allow personnel to transport even when either side of transport has differing atmospheric pressures or is between underwater environments.

This blended pattern can also be configured to allow or filter weapons fire to some extent.


Other Uses :: Psychological Treatment

People who suffer from Barclay Disorder (an extreme form of transporter anxiety, not to be confused with Barclay's Protomorphosis Syndrome) may find H.A.T.T. much more preferable since the transporter cycle can not typically be perceived by the subject.  It may also be used to assist in psychological treatment by professionals.

Other Uses :: Low Impact Intervention

Xenologists and diplomats may be able to use the H.A.T.T. system to conduct low impact intervention where exposure to technology may interfere with the normal development of emerging civilizations.

It may also be useful in subduing technological exposure for civilizations that accept the technology but are bothered by it or find it offensive to showcase such achievements.

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Question Digested!

Question Digested: 1447

Hooray!  One of my questions has been selected and published in an issue of the Internet Oracularities, volume #1447.  I received an average rating of 2.5 on a scale of 1 to 5, with votes from participating readers.  The distribution of votes was 3d850, where each digit represents the number  of votes of value 1, of value 2, etc.  Letters are used for digits beyond 9.  To participate in the voting yourself in the future, see the instructions at the top of each digest.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.  Your question was:

Oh great and powerful Oracle ...

Which one of my brilliant lending facilities will save the global market from meltdown?

Will it be TAF, PDCF, TSLF, CPFF, MMIFF, or ABCPMMMFLF?

Or all of the above?

Sincerely,
Benjamin "Helicopter" Bernanke

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

Dear BenBern:

The answer that my omniscient vision has provided unto you through me is clear:

None of the above.

Not one of the lending organizations you list, nor indeed any that you may list, will bring about a saving influence to the current financial situation you mortals find yourself in.

As always, these matters are not problems that are solved by logical or external forces - they are caused and cured by the rampant emotions you humans so dearly cling to: in the case of materialistic monetary brokering, specifically Greed and Fear.

The solution you seek lies not in computational economic analysis and resources; the solution you seek is the Ultimate Realization of spiritual evolution, where the Witness of your psyche can be heard above the static of petty egotistical demands for vast differential improvement over your brothers and panic over the loss of same.

Hasten thee to an ashram, a kibbutz, a commune, or a Large Group Awareness Training; seek out a shaman, a mystic, a fakir or a therapist; become a monk, a Sadhu, a zaddik, or simply a humble person.  Purge yourself of greed and fear, and be an example unto those you would save.

Otherwise, you will continue to perpetuate the illusions of greed and fear, and you can see where that got you.

Thus hath I spoken, thus it shall be -Oracle

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Fahrenheit Scale

Question Digested: 1425

Previously, on my old blog, I kept track of my The Internet Oracle questions/answers.  Mostly, I only posted the ones that got digested.  My earliest writings on The Internet Oracle go back to 1998 when it was still called The Usenet Oracle.  So I thought I'd restart the practice on my new blog.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.  Your question was:

Oh great and powerful Oracle...

We here in America generally use the Fahrenheit scale to measure temperature.  Why is the normal human body temperature 98.6 degrees? Since we humans invented Fahrenheit, why didn't we originally calibrate the scale so that normal human body temperature was 100 degrees?  Might this have something to do with global warming?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

Fahrenheit actually is calibrated to the temperature of the human body.  The imperial system was just conceived in a fever dream.

You owe the Oracle two wet towels and a pint of cough syrup.

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